Ari Shaffir : Comedian

May

Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank #59b: Fat (with Ralphie May)

Skeptic Tank 59b: Fat with Ralphie May (photoshop by Brandon Staack)

Ralphie May finishes up our fatastic conversation about what it’s like being so big. Interesting conversation. It’s always a good time with Ralphie. Also, there are instructions on how to podcast at the end of this episode.

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Guest Videos

This made me imagine Ralphie fucking a pregnant Lahna. Then I puked while masturbating.

Look at how much bigger he used to be. Jesus.

The Music

My favorite parts of this were the Ice T cameo and the Paula Abdul cameo. The guy who used to be a cop killer and the girl who would later become America’s #1 lush both decrying the use of marijuana. They must have known they were lying when they recorded this. And then Wil Wheaton? Yeah, I know you’re not smoking, bro. You don’t have to be in this song.

I love songs like this. Bloodhound gang manages to be the last great dork rock band left after Presidents of the United States of America and They Might be Giants left the scene. Not every band should take themselves so seriously. Sometimes, it’s about having fun and playing some guitar.

I would love to have their manager. Whoever told these walking lard tubs that they’d work in the video age of music was out of their mind. Out of their mind like a fox, that is.

Just a great remake of the original. Sorry I couldn’t find any good video for the first song and the last song this time. It’s not because I didn’t look. By the way, this whole Saturday Morning Cartoons album is full of hits. I just listened to it the other day and it still had me dancing in my chair.

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May

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Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank #59a: Fat (with Ralphie May)

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Skeptic Tank 59: Fat with Ralphie May (photoshop by @slaininjektilo)

Ralphie May bought me breakfast and took me up to his house to talk to me about what it’s like to be a fat guy. Interesting conversation. I split it up into 2 parts because it went so long. There’s still a good hour plus left.

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Guest Videos

Ralphie May – Smoke Stories

Africa

The Music

Just a cool song about King Ralph. What really makes it cool is how they made this video. Check out the next clip to see how.

I don’t know how they managed to play this at the right speed. Maybe they used a metronome or something.

How many white women do you think this guy fucked in the 60′s? My guess is all of them.

I grew up on this mother fucker. The Brown Hornet was the only thing keeping me from shoplifting. More so.

I struggled with whether or not to put this one in. It seemed too obvious to me. But it was such a huge hit, especially for a parody song, I thought, “How can I not?” And after I decided to split this podcast into 2 parts, I couldn’t justify leaving it out.

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May

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Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank #58: Stuntman (with Tait Fletcher)

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Skeptic Tank 58: Stuntman with Tait Fletcher (photoshop by @josehadathy)

Tait Fletcher stopped by my hovel to talk to me about stunt work. Tait works as a full stuntman for TV and movies. We meandered into talk about Bruce Lee, Master P and how horrible actresses are.

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The Music

Jack Nitzsche – The Last Race – opening credits for Death Proof

Jack Nitzsche – “The Last Race” from Village of the Giants. It’s always hot seeing girls in swimsuits dancing, especially in slow motion. If you don’t agree, check this out.

Kate Upton. Just hot.

Lee Majors – Unknown Stuntman. This wasn’t even Lee Majors’s song. But he decided to sing it for the credits because he’s an actor and actors think everything should be about them.

Arctic Monkeys – All my own stunts

Kasabian – Stuntmen

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April

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Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank #57: Parenthoodwinked (with Joey Diaz)

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Skeptic Tank 57: Parenthoodwinked with Joey Diaz (photoshop by @neuroaristocrat)

Joey Diaz invited me over to his house to talk about the daughter he barely ever mentions. As always with Joey Diaz, some of these stories are amazing. He’s so honest and colorful, I could just sit and listen to him for days.

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Guest Info

Diaz on Beauty and Da Beast. That’s his own podcast he does with Felicia Michaels every week. He’s got tons more stories on that podcast. Do yourself a favor and get into it.

If you ever get a chance to see Joey do standup in real life, absolutely do it. It’s a one of a kind experience and video just doesn’t do it justice.

Diaz about his childhood with me and Redban and Rogan. This was one of the first podcasts any of us did. This is before Joe built his studio. Fun fact: That couch is now in my apartment. I’ve had sex on it.

Lucy Snorbush animated. Joey told this story at my This Is Not Happening storyteller show. I turned around at some point to see Bert Kreischer’s jaw hanging almost to the ground. Both of those guys are amazing at telling a story.

The Music

Cats in the Cradle – Ugly Kid Joe 1992. Ugly Kid Joe was big for about 35 minutes during my senior year of high school. I would’ve used to original version but that was about a boy and his dad, so I figured I should take a cover to show the difference. The message is the same, regardless. And they do a pretty good job on the remake.

Papa was a Rolling Stone – Temptations 1972.

Father of Mine – Everclear.

He wasn’t There – Lily Allen live. I feel like I’m supposed to be embarrassed that I love Lily Allen. I don’t know why. I think she gets lumped into chick rock a little too easily. Her songs are way catchier and her messages are way more interesting. Plus her voice has either gotten or has always been REALLY good.

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All Diaz offers on Twitter is filthy inspirational tweets and links to kick ass music videos.

You guys should all really go out and buy Joey’s new album It’s Either You Or The Priest on iTunes right now. It’s $7.99 and he included, like, a dozen ringtones you can use after you listen to the comedy.

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April

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Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank #56b: Gayest Podcast Ever (the really gay part) (with Justin Martindale and Shawn Halpin)

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Skeptic Tank 56b: Gayest Podcast Ever (the really gay part) (photoshop by @Vegas_702)

Justin Martindale, Shawn Halpin and I talked in my hotel room about Justin’s qualifications to run for mayor of gay. This episode is unbelievably gay. If you’re Christian, you probably shouldn’t listen to it. Unless you’re a Catholic priest, then it might turn you on (you know, because of the rapes).

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The Music